he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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