Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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