I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
