It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
