To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
