I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
