I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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