I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
As shirtless as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize