I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The best revenge is premature balding
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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