your thong is hanging out like whoa
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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