So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
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Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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