I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize