I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
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in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
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When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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