Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
