I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize