the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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