Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
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Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
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You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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