How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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