I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's shark week go big or go home
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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