I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
if only i could text you this smell
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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