i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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