he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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