I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
