Do vagina's smell?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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