So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
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She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
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You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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