I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
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You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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