my mouth tastes like poor choices
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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