Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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