Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
