We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
