these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
