so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
