oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
