The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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