Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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