He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
