Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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