90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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