So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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