Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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