After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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