My nipple is on Facebook.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize