Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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