my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
