just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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