Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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