So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
We smell like vodka and hangover
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