doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
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It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
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I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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