i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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