Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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