You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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