I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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