and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
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They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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