just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
