those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish i was in the wii world.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
