Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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