There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
cat food counts as protein by the way
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
