We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
