Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
